I have to stay silent

When I was in fourth grade (CM1 in french school), I was escorted by a school principal down to a room downstairs. There, I took the TCF (which is like a test to enter the french school system).

A few months after, I eventually entered the french school system

The thing is, I hate the french language. I hate french grammar, I hate speaking french just to be corrected by some suck-up who inspects every single word I say

I hate having to be corrected on when to use la or le or les.

"Il mange la croissant"

"Ha ha stupid idiot it's actually LE croissant"

Now, something I learned throughout my years in middle school, the french have neo-colonised my country. They have neo-colonised our neighbors. And it's not something new either. People always thought that the french school system was better than the tunisian school system for a reason, because IT WAS.

The school I'm in, though I'll leave it unnamed, is a school mostly full of the children of rich people. Most kids I'm with here ask eachother what they'll do when they grow up, though I already know what they're going to do.

One, They will leave Tunisia and serve the French capitalist system (or any european system for that matter)
Two, They will take over their parents' mega corporations and do what's right (capitalism)
Three, all of the above

Recently, we did our "Orale blanc". Basically, it's this test they do to see your speaking skills mostly infront of a jury. You present something you enjoy speaking about, they ask you questions and you're done. For me, it would be a great thing...If I wasn't forced to speak french the whole fucking time.

Already, not only did I come 2 and a half hours early, having my dad leave me stranded outside the school. But I was already tired from the entire night of revising. So I did the next best thing, walk around the area. This was something I had never done before, and not just that, but the late spring heat started to set in, and it was a very sunny day, so my scarf and trenchcoat wearing self was not pleased with the close encounter I had with heat-stroke.

Finally, after having an adventure across the entirety of what I'd like to call "around the school", I was allowed in by the school's guards. I was still an hour early, so I sat down and began to revise. I kept trying to do the presentation in under five minutes, and shite was I bad at doing that. My watch started malfunctioning and setting the time to noon, even though it was 9 in the morning. I decided instead to use my phone. 12 seconds over the timer. 20 seconds over the timer. 5 seconds over the timer. Okay... I think to myself. Let's check the time. Turns out I'm almost late. I take my script and my backpack, and I run to the class. I get there, it turns out I was very early and the girl inside was still doing her presentation and I just sat waiting for my enevitable execution

A reminder that I knew I was a bad speaker in french. And a way worse speaker in GENERAL. I might do well in english, but not french. So when It was my turn to face the jury and start talking about my subject, the faces one of the teachers made almost made it look like I was going to be put in an 'impractical jokers' episode. That was comforting... Now, for the bad things. I forgot to take my coat off. I forgot to use a different usb, meaning the two jurors saw my shit. There was a ton of awkward silence especially when I forgot words. Ill say it once and Ill say it again, THE FACIAL FEATURES. The fake smiles, the sudden eyes widening, IS HE WATCHING A CRINGY YOUTUBE VIDEO???? Though the conclusion in my presentation was in english (since that was allowed) I could easily answer their questions (that were in english). As for the ones in french, I gave short answers, which gave a LONGER awkward silence.

The thing is, they're forcing a shy teenager like me open up by force. You can't force a flower to sprout, you have to give it TIME! I hate the french language, the french school system, their language, their shitty propaganda they put in EMC class.

Also, another thing, this time about EMC class. The french school system is not about teaching people 'better'. It's about ensuring you become the ideal french worker. I'll give you examples. Last year, they taught us how to get french citizenship. In french class, we are always taught about figures of speech and we are forced to assign each figure of speech into it's own fucking title.

I'm gonna stop writing now. I might continue later, or tomorrow, or a week after. Who knows.